Happiness

So...These pictures are the definition of happiness to me.

I love hugs from my baby girl.

Update: She is such a momma's girl but I think a big part of that is the fact that she is still breast-fed. Partly my choice, partly hers. I wanted to go until the 12 month mark but I am happy to supply her with the most healthy thing she will probably ever consume, a little bit longer. She nurses at least 4 times a day still on average. Sometimes more if we're home all day and sometimes less if we're gone all day. Sometimes it gets on my nerves if she just drank/ate and then asks again 30 mins later because mostly it is a comfort to her, but I also enjoy it because is such a bonding experience and it is a quick and easy fix when she is fussy! I'm curious to see how long we go, but I do know that whenever that day comes I think I will be very sad in a way. (I will also be happy to wear a REAL bra all of the time!)

 Sorry - hope that wasnt TMI. I'm have a tendency to over-share.

Please excuse our mess :) 

I also love hugs from my oldest!

He will be 5 on the 31st of this month! Where does the time go?!?! 

He wants a batman party this year and it will be at our house again. We started filling out the invites and he is writing all the names on the envelopes...I guess we should be practicing more with him over the summer because he is not doing so well. Yikes! Its amazing how much you can forget in a months time!

We are still unsure if he will go to Kindergarten or Pre-K...He is signed up for Kindergarten already but we would prefer Pre-K at the preschool he just went to this past year for 4 year old preschool. We figure it can't hurt to wait an extra year just to be sure he is ready mentally and emotionally. All I need to do is send in the registration which I have already filled out. Is it really that hard? ugh. Just never motivated when I think of it.

 And this cute kid?

Look at that smile!! That ornery 2nd child smile that hooks you in :) 

I was the 2nd child, so I can relate. I guess I was the crazy one too. Its too bad Im ending up with 2 crazy kids! (Unfortunately) Elle is following right along in Wil's footsteps as far as being crazy goes. She climbs the couches all by herself, 'crawls' up the stairs as fast as she can and thinks its hilarious when she does so, and runs right toward the street when you tell her no. She also just started hitting and telling us 'NO' which she gets from her other big brother, the oldest one.

Anyways, back to the middle child...Theres not much else to say other than he's crazy but we love him so much! He is learning something new everyday and is always making us laugh. He is also becoming more cuddly than he was for a while and I'm loving it. Oh, and he IS potty trained officially!! At 2 1/2!! Thats big progress for us considering the oldest was 3 when he was potty trained. That might not sound like a lot but 6 months is a big difference when it comes to buying diapers!! He probably only has a few accidents a week at the most whether we are out somewhere or at home!

Hoping to get back on here with more pictures and updates soon. Realistically next update will be after Matthew starts school in the fall. We shall see. Maybe I'll post about something different :)

Saved

This is the blog that inspires me every time I read it. And by inspires me, I mean leaves me sobbing and in tonight's case leaves me with a broken heart but a healed heart at the same time. How can a heart be broken and healed at the same time you ask? One word. Jesus. If we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and break into pieces, He will pick them up for you and put them back together. Why would you want your heart to be broken into pieces? Because when our Jesus puts those pieces back together, he makes it stronger than it was the time before that. And not only that, but it is a bonding experience between us and God.

Sorry to get all deep and I apologize for not blogging in 6 months!!! I really have no excuse. To tell the truth, I have read books, watched tv and movies etc...Ive had time for facebook and pinterest but blogging seems to be something I reserve for getting things off of my mind. Or rather than cutting it out of my mind and pasting it to a blog, I am copying it and pasting it so that if I lose these feelings I have right now about where I want my heart to be, I can look back and maybe something I wrote will trigger those feelings again. It will remind me that yes, I had a moment of vulnerability allowing God to overtake me for that brief moment. It will hopefully remind me that this is a place I want to be more than just one day. I have the Nicolas Sparks book from the library, and also my doula books I need to read right now that are calling my name because let's face it, the kids are in bed and this is my best chance to read in peace and quiet...BUT all I want to do right now is listen to worship music and be in the presence of my God. I want to soak in this moment because I know this will fade at some point and spending time with God will seem more like a chore, or just another thing to check off of my list for the day. I need this Holy Spirit moment so that I keep this small flame burning inside me which was just a tiny spark 24 hours ago can keep getting bigger and bigger. Not only for how it makes me feel but for the sake of others around me, so that they can see Gods light inside me, and the joy radiating out of me and want that for themselves too. I want to be better not only so that I can help others and bless them, but so that God can get the glory because He deserves it so much!

"Now,
O Lord,
calm me into a quietness
that heals
and listens,
and molds my longings
and passions,
my wounds
and wonderings
into a more holy
and human
shape."
Ted Loder (Geurrila's of Grace)

Christmas

 Elle is crawling and getting big and so beautiful!!

 Wil - trouble but so cute!

 Matthew and the kids at the church Christmas program!

 Cant believe Elle is 7 (almost 8) months already!!

 Matthew - looks so innocent here, ha!

 Love this picture of the three of them!

 Matthew in his Christmas program at his preschool!

More pictures to come!

Peace

Today, I am overcome with peace. Peace knowing that I'm not going to get along with everyone, and not everyone is going to like me. And guess what? That's okay. There is not one person on this earth that is liked by EVERYONE they meet and even my sweet Jesus was and is hated by so many (because they do not truly understand who He is). I am overcome with peace looking at my sweet children. Even though they drive me crazy most of the time I am SO incredibly thankful for their health and their personalities already. I pray that they will grow to know and love Jesus and be a blessing to everyone they come into contact with. I am thinking of things positively today. Wil decided to figure out how to climb out of his crib (without getting hurt) and instead of getting frustrated I am reminding myself of how smart he is :) It is easy to be happy with Elle at this moment because she has been sleeping 4 hours right now (noon to 4:00) but really she is a good baby and the moments she is fussy it is because she wants to be held and I am happy to do that so we can create a strong bond as mother and daughter! Matthew has been really bad lately...pretty standard for a 4 year old I guess but today I have tried to not yell as much, or spank him right away and I notice a difference. He is more calm when I am calm and he still gets the punishment (time out's usually, or toys taken away) so he isn't getting away with anything, just less yelling and high blood pressure! And even though Shaun is gone today with my brother at a waterpark, I am thankful that he gets along with my family...and he loaded and ran the dishwasher this morning before he left :)
Elle is just waking up, but I hope what I wrote today will encourage you to be a little more thankful for the things in your life. Remeber to slow down and look around you: Life is not a race! Here is what inspired me to  think differently today:
http://www.aholyexperience.com/2012/08/10-ways-to-be-a-happier-mom/

addictions

Check out this article about addictions from Relevant Magazine.com. Here is a little sneak peek:
"Immediately from birth, life is a shocker. We develop and grow, but there remains a natural human inclination to reach out to anything substantial, to stabilize us and lend us support. For some people, this innate need can turn into a full-blown addiction. In fact, 16 percent of the U.S. population is dependent on alcohol, nicotine, or other drugs."

To be honest, I have my own addiction I'm dealing with. It stems from my inability to make decisions easily. It's sort of like rolling dice, or drawing a card...without giving anyone ideas. I have this struggle between knowing that I don't let this addiction take over me too much and knowing that I should use my brain that God gave me. I do make my own decisions most of the time  especially when it comes to things that matter. I mostly can't decide where to start when cleaning my house, or how to wear my hair. It really is a thing that stabalizes me and lends me support like the article says.

A New Day

For those (probably few) of you who actually read my blog, you're probably thinking "WHOA! Whitney is posting so soon after her last post!?" Yes, it is true! This is not a dream! When I get free time, I am usually cleaning my house, or attempting to at least. And when I do get on a computer, I am catching up on emails! I have 202 right now but definitely need a break right now! (Elle is currently sleeping :))
What's new? Well, the husband has a summer school teaching job out near Geneva which is wonderful! God is so good! We definitely need the extra money since I wasn't working or getting any pay while on maternity leave from watching kids (which doesn't exactly bring us a ton of money). It seems like the perfect fit for him too, other than the fact that he is teaching algebra 2 to high school boys even though he is certified in Middle School math. The *Dean didn't seem to mind. *(It is a private all boys boarding school which costs $38,000/year!) The good thing is he only has 2 students, so it's not too overwhelming for him to be teaching something he's not super familiar with. I went to the school with him for a dinner and we brought the kids. I loved it there. I'm kind of jealous because it seems like such a great community of people. The teachers and their families live on campus which is awesome because you become on giant family, you don't have to drive to work, you don't have to pay a mortgage or rent and you can even eat in the cafeteria with the students whenever you want which saves money on food for you too! 
Anyways...I am on a mission to lose this baby weight which is proving to be harder than I remember with the other two. I have 'dieted' for 3 weeks now and have not lost any weight. I still asked if I'm pregnant and although it's only been 8 weeks since I had Elle it's frustrating because i am trying. I need to be more self-controlled when I'm at other peoples houses or in public because I see it as an opportunity to go off my diet a little (which sometimes turns into a lot). I am pretty good at sticking to eating healthy at home but sometimes my portions are probably too large or even if I'm already full I still eat more. I KNOW what I need to do, but doing it is the hard part. I also have not worked out at all really but I am signing up for a stroller fitness class that my friend is teaching which will be awesome. I have to admit that I am afraid of embarrassing myself because I am SO out of shape! But hey, everyone has to start somewhere, right? So, basically I need to start working out, and possibly cut back on the carbs and my portion sizes and hopefully I can lose some weight by mid-August for a wedding we are attending. I would love to start 'The Maker's Diet' at the beginning (Phase One) because that's the detox part but I'm not sure that's a good idea with breastfeeding so I'm just sticking to the usual big parts of it which is no pig, shellfish etc...I should obviously be staying away from corn-syrup and white-refined flours but it's hard not to pass up a root beer when I'm at someone's house, or chips with dip. Not too mention my mom is allergic to whole wheat stuff so she only has white bread. 
I should really be getting my little guys to be eating healthy. My mother in law buys us stuff from Sams Club which happens to be mostly junk, like huge boxes of waffles, toaster strudels, sugary cereal, crackers that have 1000 ingredients listed etc...She has good intentions but it makes it hard to eat healthy. Sometimes she will buy us fruit or milk for Wil because he drinks almond or coconut milk. 
Well, Hope everyone has a Happy 4th of July!!!!!!! We will be having both of our families to our house to grill out, with our first bonfire experience with Matthew!

Welcome our baby Elle!

Happy (late) Mothers Day, all you mom's out there!
I am happy to say I am now a mommy of 3!!!
(Including a GIRL!)

Welcome Elle (Elizabeth Marie) Spence at 3:23am on May 4th. Weighing in at 9lb 1oz and 20 inches long.
As you can see we did a water-birth at home. I loved it and I think it really helped with the pain! I am not going to even attempt to put the whole birth story on here considering it's taken me about 5 times to work on getting the pictures on here and if I wait any longer, Elle will have her first birthday already, haha. So at least you all (whoever you are) can see her.