Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Stop, Drop and Roll

Okay, well here I go again. I do some of my best thinking when I am writing - or should I say typing so please excuse me if I seem to always be deep. I hope that you find this inspiring and not negative and I hope that maybe I can get some good feedback?

I am struggling today. Struggling between myself and God. I have this horrible addiction to not being able to make decisions. Before you get too worried, I should mention its mostly little decisions like what to eat or what to wear or what to clean in my house right now. I didn't freak out when my husband proposed I choose the best decisions I can for my kids but for myself Im just so afraid of getting bored with being in a routine. I am one of the rare people that like change. I grew up moving every year or two because my dad was in the Navy so I actually enjoy change! So today I hit this point where my mind was literally frozen because I am so tired of over thinking every little thing but because my mind was frozen I really couldnt make any decisions. I was stressed out just standing in the kitchen even though I was doing nothing. This is not a good position to be when there are 3 kids needing you to make decisions for them too (plus one that I'm babysitting today)! I think my mind froze because I have a ton of stress right now. I am stressed about our financial situation and how I can help fix it. I don't have a degree, I don't want to work full-time, and we have 3 kids that I would need to find daycare for if I did find a decently paid job with the hours I want. My husband already coaches and tutors along with his teacher job during the day. My dream job is being put on hold because being a doula right now doesnt seem practical with having 3 kids (having to find a sitter last minute to attend a birth). My other option is to teach childbirth classes because I could make my own schedule but to take classes and get my certification we would need money which we do NOT have right now. 
I am not saying all of this to seem negative (there are plenty more things I could go into detail about!) but I just want to know, how do you juggle everything? Being a mom, a wife, a friend, finding time for yourself including working out, showering, spending time with God, practicing the keyboard (I'm training to play at our new church plant), reading books - for fun, for education for my doula training, for church and my relationship with God (starting The Shack right now).

So, how do you do it? I have some ideas that may or may not work for me:
1) Wake up at 6 every morning to get at least 20 minutes to spend time in Gods word. The only obstacle is I'm NOT a morning person. It doesn't matter how early I go to bed the night before I feel like I am glued down to my bed every morning. It takes me a long time to be able to function. I'm not sure I'll remember anything I read if I'm so tired.
2) Using nap time to work out. I do this almost every day anyways. I just need to make sure I'm doing it EVERY day if I want to get in shape and be healthy.
3) Clean kitchen before and after meal times
4) Clean downstairs (living/family room) before nap time and before bedtime.
5) Practice keyboard and singing when kids go to bed followed by some relaxation and TV time