rollercoaster

Where do I start? How much do I say?
I guess I should update after my last blog. I wont give detail because they are too painful, and Im sure there are people who would not want to know details. I dont mind talking about it, if someone is curious. Anyways...We lost the baby on Monday. I was 11 weeks along and everything looked great according to a couple ultrasounds we saw. One of them, being at the hospital that morning. I am not mad at God, but I am confused as to why He had us so optimistic earlier that day. The baby was moving around on the ultrasound, and the heartbeat looked great. My doctor says she thought maybe it was because the baby wasnt implanted very well into the uterus since they couldnt find anything on the ultrasound that morning. The good thing is that she doesnt think it will happen again since the baby was fine up until the actual miscarriage. My husband wants to keep trying soon so our kids will be 2 years apart in school. I decided that I would like to just keep doing what we did before. We are usually careful during the time of ovulation, and alll other times, we arent as careful. If we get pregnant, I am fine with that, and if we dont, Im fine with that too. Its all in God's hands.

All of this has make me think of my goals. I feel like the positive I can get out of this, is that I can workout more, and try to lose more weight before we do get pregnant again.I asked Shaun for a membership to the YMCA for Christmas, but he thinks I wouldnt get our moneys worth. I really would love to use the pool, and occasionally the weights or track. I would also love to cook more. I make a really good lasagna, meatball soup, chicken/veggie soup, and Shaun makes a good broccoli/cheddar soup, chicken parmesean, and spaghetti parmesean. A more non-realistic goals is to learn a foreign language. I would definitely learn German considering I took it in high school and Ive been to Germany and Switzerland. Its not that I couldnt have done these things being pregnant, but because I was so tired, it was hard to achieve my goals. Now I know I will have more time and energy.

I am excited to start volunteering for Hospice. We havent heard back from the coordinator after finishing our orientation, but she should be calling to let us know where they need volunteers to visit.

Passion/Holy week is upon us.
"See, my servant will prosper; he will be highly exalted. Many were amazed when they saw him beaten and bloodied, so disfigured one would scarcely know he was a person. And he will again startle many nations. Kings will stand speechless in his presence. For they will see what they had not previously been told about; they will understand what they had not heard about." - from Isaiah 52.
"He had done no wrong, and he never deceived anyone. But he was buried like a criminal; he was put in a rich man's grave" from Isaiah 53